A few months ago, word hit the campus rumor mill that I might be up for a big promotion in the not so distant future. Fellow middle managers started mentioning it to me in hushed tones, senior administrators began speaking to me in parables. Little by little I began to feel that that I was not just playing the right games, but actually winning at … Continue reading Thwarted Ambition
When I first found out I was pregnant, I swore that motherhood would not change me. I swore to myself that I would still wear combat boots and punk rock t-shirts, still listen to techno and still slouch around at happy hour every now and then. I swore that I would still be hardnosed and unemotional, and that above all, most importantly, I would never, … Continue reading This Is Embarrassing.
But honestly, how long would I really last as a stay at home mom? Would I actually be content with nothing but mothering? I use as evidence my maternity leave to convince myself that nothing would satisfy me more, I think about every long weekend or day of playing hooky from work, all of these times when I am filled with joy because I get … Continue reading Stay at home what?
The problem with vacation is going back to work. This is not a fresh observation, of course, but the particular tone of this problem has changed now that I have a child. The problem with going back to work is not my job, nor is it a generalized desire to live the life of the idle rich – I like my job, and I have … Continue reading The Problem With Vacation.
My life then: A perfect one bedroom apartment with views and bonus room and hardwood floors; a whiskey and a spliff while reading at night in bed; turning down invitations to go out because home alone never gets old; cooking elaborate meals for one, just for the fun of it; toned arms and a flat chest and a perfect size four ass; sleeping in … Continue reading My Life Now.